Truly there are fewer things to strike fear into the heart of a man than the thought of you determined to be on them every chance you get.
In your lecherous rush to get your hands on this poor paladin you perhaps failed to notice that I had no defences, no life potion, no strength potion, nothing at all. You might also notice that I didn't return your wanton advances and simply parried and healed while telling you how naughty you were being.
What I do find shameful is your blatant advertising of how poor the Parrian education system is. Allow me to demonstrate. There is myself, Finbar, Dunccan and Tazius actve in the guild. That makes a total of four paladins. Finbar and Dunccan are most definitely far superior fighters, they have honed their skills whipping your arse over and over I believe. That would be 50% of my guild fighting better than I do. Tazius is honing his skills too and we have good spars. If Tazius were better than me then t
hat would be 75% of my guild fighting better than I do. Shall I repeat that slowly for you?
But I bow to your rantings. You clearly know more about being a pathetic GM than I do, and I'll not argue with your greater experience.
Now what I recommend is that you stay off the mulled wine for a while and remove that piece of mistletoe from the front of your helm before you do someone an injury.
Clansman Grymauch, Paladin of Springdale
Written by my hand on the 2nd of Eleuthral, in the year 1129.