You want fancy words? Here ya go:

You are a petulant, deigning cozen who's pompous, incongruous, insipid and sopo-

rific posts declare how recreational and pedestrian your ratiocity truly is.

Your current idiosyncracy is that of a craven who belies every shining example

of what a spiritual Paladin truly is. Your belligerent, bombastic, frivolous

aberration of a knight's attributes makes my cardiac orifice contract with

emetic force.

Oh! But shall I inflate my drastic hyperbole?

Nobody lionizes you. You are simultaneously a nefarious, tenacious juggernaut and

yet an indolent, miserly sloth. By logical deduction, the two peaks of personality

cancel each other out and we are left with a novice, pigheaded braggart in place.

To the young, you are a very specious individual indeed and it is for shame that

they are so deceived. Now go you lackluster! Take your lugubrious life

with you! Your redoubtableness has been exposed and you are no more the noble

sage than the naked fool!

Sincerely,

Your mom.

Written by my hand on the 14th of Hindyear, in the year 1077.