Im sorry I dont understand you dont have a 'unix account' and your 'f keys' dont work? You have no 'autoresponses'? These words mean nothing to me. Are we speaking the same language or is this some lesser known dialect of Avalon? I have a skill for languages calles dialects i think I was under the impression it allowed me to understand all the native tongues of Avalon...<ponder>. Sounds nasty anyway! I hope you are able to make your 'unix' accountable etc.
As to your not wanting to fight, well there are days when i dont wish to fight and youll never guess what... noone ever cares! Again I feel this is another case for growing up a bit; learning that the world doesnt actually revolve around you. Its called egocentrism and im reliably informed that it is generally grown out of by the age of 7. Good luck.