El Salvador, Captain-Commanderto Everyone

I have composed the following work in the hopes that the city of Thakria will adopt it as their advertising material. It is, I believe, an accurate piece...

\"Let slip the trees of war, for indeed war was upon Avalon again. Thunder crashed and rolled upon the heavens, drowning out the call of 'summon me!' across the west. The Thakrians stood firm against all resistance with the aid of the great conquistador and the sanctuary of protected environments. \"

\"For an intrepid team they longed to be. Tactile, mental and spiritual prowess - all these could be circumvented by the fruit-metamorphosis devices of the druids and the concept of duellism as discovered by the Loremasters. They were indeed hall heroes against all enemies save for competent ones. The keen and swift speed-paths of the scarlet-clad and out of breath Cavalier proved a deadly combination with the widely-accepted \"astral form/coffin/temple/laugh\" tactics exhibited by the Sorcerers. \"

\"Few quailed before the dextrous pinioning of those one-trick-ponies called assassins, that flitted to and fro hoping no innovation would be required. And all the while, the mysterious and otherworldly seers threw ineffectual lightnings at their foes, their wind-addled minds long having forgotten how to use their real abilities. \"

\"when all was said and done, they stood victorious against the children and pacifists of the world. The Thakrians soon received word of the approach of challenging enemies - and promptly left the battlefield. The wings of a mighty dragon carried them to safety, its power tenuously harnessed by a Warlock with extreme agoraphobia. \"

\"Heroes many did the Thakrians claim to be, emboldened by the guaranteed wins of their campaigns against the hopeless. Long have they resided deep behind the obsidian walls of their citadel, frequenting impenetrable barracks and protected store rooms while waxing lyrical on their own brilliance. \"

For indeed, where else in Avalon could any place make such claims to glory, all the while failing to realise any of them, but Thakria, the City of Loopholes?

Written by my hand on the 13th of Cloudburst, in the year 1290.