Once again the old suggestion of reading HELP CONCEPT arises.
I have been through the mill as well in the past and I know what you
are thinking. However, Avalon is a harsh world where rewards are hard
won and fought for. Those rewards then have much more personal
value to you when you do finally achieve them.
You are in a take it, or leave it situation.
Welcome to Avalon.
Written by my hand on the 9th of Hindyear, in the year 998.