I can't help you regarding your problems with your (ex) glorious leaders, but as far as the other

dubious practices you allude to - if you frequent the shadier areas around the docks or jetties

of any large town or city, I believe you might find some friendly Ladies (or gentlemen I suppose...)

willing to see to your needs (for a small fee...)

Written by my hand on the 16th of Cloudburst, in the year 973.